long over due

Well lets see.... Life's been pretty intersting latley. I have found that I am farily frustrated this week, due to circumstances beyond my control. I have found that some people seem to have the inability to let bygones be bygones and to get over the past and move on. which seems really silly to me. Everyone makes mistakes ever day, if we choose to hold that against them, then we learn nothing and in my opinion we aren't being very good Christians. Personally I try to never hold anything against anyone. Its not my job, perhaps i am overly forgiving. makes life difficult because I don't like going where I'm clearly not wanted.
I finally get to start my psychology classes, its about time seeing as to I'm getting my PhD in it. I am looking forward to filling my head with information. I have been single now for a few months, and really enjoying getting to know myself better. I have gone on a few dates, which is nice because it allows me to see whats out there. I have read a lot lately as well, Ive gone through at least 12 books since mid October. I have also been writing a lot, I am currently writing a novel as well as revising an article which i plan to, with the help of a professor, have published.
Christmas was somewhat of a hard one this year, the past three Christmas's I spent with my ex fiance and his family. So naturally it was hard to not have him there. I know that I am still not completely over out split, and still sometimes feel naked without my engagement ring. However, i know that there is a reason God decided to end our relationship. I also know that there is someone out there for me. And I look forward to the day i find him.
I haven't been very active in the church lately. I am currently looking into the Catholic church, as well as returning to the Baptist church community. I am also looking at a few non denominational churches. There is a fairly large church in SE Portland called NEW HOPE which, i have heard good things about. I hope to figure that all out before too terribly long. I definitely miss going to church.

until next time

la de da fra ma

well, my grandma died while I was at the beach, was very upsetting. I wanted to be there for her when she passed away. However, she said that she was glad we were there because we were her connection to the coast in her last moments, and the coast was her favorite place in the world. besides Ireland of course. I miss her very much, but I know that she was ready to go, and she wasn't scared. Shes with God now, and her husband, and her dogs.
After she died I began to design her memorial tattoo. Ive had it for a little over two weeks now and I love it. Im getting ready to start my second year of college. I cant believe Its really already been a year since graduation. So many changes!!

peace

i am currently sitting here looking out the window at a beautiful view of the Oregon coast. The beach has always been my escape. I cant help but feel that this is where I am meant to be. The sound of the surf is the most relaxing sound in the world. I hope to one day live near the beach. There is something about the smell of salt in the air that is so welcoming. If it weren't for my family, I honestly wouldn't feel like I had much of a reason to not just stay here. I love the feeling of the sand in between my toes. I don't think I am meant to be a city girl . I'm a small town girl, whose always had to live in the city because shes had no other choice. The only hard part is that this is the first time in fourteen years, that I have gone to the beach without a dog. I feel so at peace here. Free. Alive.

skye

sssschweet

soooooo
I just found out that my girl Krystal, her brother. his wife and their baby girl are all moving back to Portland!!! I am so stoked!!!! I cant wait.
Everything in my life is going exactly how i want it to. Its amazing how much your life can improve when you make just a few changes. I feel so balanced. I don't know where I'm going, but for once I feel secure with the unknown aspects of my life. I'm enjoying each moment with out fretting what will happen in the next. I have the most amazing friends and a really great life.

life as of now

so my life has been pretty much amazing. I am making so many great positive changes in my life. Ive finally decided that it is about time I actually get my license so I'm signing up for driving classes. With my moms help, i'm learning to cook all kinds of food. I am taking school much more seriously as well.
Ive been hanging out with this new guy, and hes pretty special. Hes smart, hardworking, and funny as hell. Unlike most people in their twenties, hes finished school and has a great career. Hes really supportive of all the changes Ive been working on, and he always motivates me to do whats best for me. Oh and hes gorgeous, and then some. We always have a blast. Its nice just get to know a guy, and not jump into tagging on the girlfriend/boyfriend labels. I look forward to seeing where this goes.

On a sad note, my grandmothers health is deteriorating. She is eighty years old and recently had knee replacement surgery, which I believe she is way to old for. While in rehab she got sick and was taken to the ER where they found a blood clot in her lung. A few days later when they went to check to see if it had moved towards her heart, they found a large tumor in her chest. Shes finally out of the hospital and living with my aunt, whos a nurse. But everyday gets harder for her. She cant swallow her pills anymore, so they will be putting her on an IV and give her morphine. Shes not eating much, and becomes weaker everyday. Shes ready to go, and to be with the love of her life in heaven. So she said no chemo, which at her age, i understand. I just pray that when she goes, its peacefully and that she doesn't feel pain.

anyways, all in all life is amazing. And for once I feel stress free.
so hells ya

outchie

well......
so it turns out that my burn is a second degree one. I spent 3 hours in urgent care on Monday night, and I had to go to the doctor today. It is a deep, pussy, red, swollen mess. Turns out I developed a bacterial infection in the skin. I have to keep it wrapped for at least ten days. I have to wash it, apply burn cream and fresh bandages 2 times a day at least. The bandages are gauze pads,with kerlix wrap some tape, and then a knee high with the toes cut off to hold it all up.
I am on vicoden which im taking 2 of every 3 or 4 hours, and anti inflammatory which i have to take 2 times a day, and an antibiotic that i have to take 4 times a day.

It hurts really bad, its hard to walk. My doctor and mother wont let me go to the gym. So im pretty much literally stuck in bed. Luckily Kevans taking me out for my birthday on saturday so ill finally get out of the house. I cant even go to class this week! And let me tell you I am WAY FREAKING EXCITED! He is taking me to the Red Bull Flugtag event on the water front. Then we will probably do something else awesome!!!

ive been broken out of my shell

my entire life i have been told, that i wasn't capable of doing anything. That if i did something I would just get hurt. But the craziest thing has happened to me. I met this guy, who is pretty much the shit, and he totally broke me out of my shell. I actually got on his motorcycle with him, which was so much fun. Of course, i had to get a boo boo right away haha. Burned my leg really bad on the muffler trying to get situated, but it was worth it was totally worth it. My leg looks pretty narley. haha. Hes even going to take me quadding! Hes gonna get me doing all kind of stuff that I never would have done!
Did I mention this guy is freaking gorgeous?!

-skye